-.-

“Don’t!”, she screamed. Her distinct voice reached his ears, even across the bustling crowd.
“Don’t do it.”
Being in love with her, he reconsidered for a second. But then he remembered once more why he was there. Having only a few minutes left till the final move, he pulled himself together. As he turned around once more, away from the stare of the girl, his face arranged itself in painful expression, as if he had just been shot in the chest.
“I have to”, he whispered to himself. He thought for a moment how he had gotten himself into this situation. How he had kept it a secret from her. This secret had been like a burden of a thousand bricks laying on his shoulders. The only choice was to continue with the plan.
It had been a month ago that someone had the idea. It made him shiver as if he had stepped into a cold room even the first time he heard of it, but being the newest member of the group, he simply shook his head and agreed. It was only till afterwards, when they chose him to carry out the act, that he had wished he never let his emotions take over him, that he had never had the impulse to join the group. But he had never been good at anything. He wanted to prove himself, just once.

He thought of the previous events of the day. If she hadn’t found out about it all it would have been so much easier now. It had been the final call to make sure everything was set, he answered it, and went over the plan once more with the leader of the group. He didn’t know the man’s name- he never said. She had picked up the telephone from the kitchen, a mere coincidence, to call a friend, but having such gentle mannerisms, nobody noticed the click of the telephone being lifted. She overheard the entire conversation. She had immediately tried to stop him, but in vain, he had his mind set on it and was as stubborn as a child.
A cold sweat broke on his forehead, even though the hundreds of people packed together around him made him extremely hot. The president was giving his last words of a speech that had so many standing on their toes and screaming with excitement.
The President made his way across the stage, near him. He was only three, two, one meter away from him now.
This was it. He opened his jacket slowly, looking down. He felt the wires tug at his body. He followed them down to the plastic box across his stomach. He felt the edges of the red button with his finger. Her voice rang in his ears again, but he didn’t understand what it said.
He pushed the button, and suddenly, all his fears, all his anxiety, his love, his pain, dissolved into a corona of white light.